Passing

Whenever we start an new activity I find myself torn about the "A" word. Does the subject of autism need to come up? Quinn has made such good progress that I always wonder if anyone would think anything was not as it should. Then it's usually the case that things don't go quite as they might and I end up offering an explanation for why Quinn is clinging to the front door when it's time to do parachute at Gymboree or why he is covering his ears at the swimming pool. It's then when I think of idea of passing in the way I read about it in books, people of other races passing as whites in order to have a better life, or Jews in Nazi Germany passing as non Jews, to be treated the way a person would like to be, not as a second class citizen. I always wonder if that's what I am hoping for, that Quinn can pass, just be another kid, not someone who needs to be treated differently. Do I want that for me of for him? I guess the answer is for both of us. I want him to try different things to see what he enjoys doing, but then I stop to wonder when he isn't having fun doing those new things, do I keep pushing to see if he will grow comfortable with it or do I just assume it's not an activity for him and try something else. How hard do I push and for how long? I guess that's a mystery to be handled delicately.